The Evolution of Airi Nakajima
by Morumotto-chi
Summary: Airi has a crush on Kaoru- until she sees the confession scheme the twins pull every time. She panics, and changes. Slightly. Then Tamaki Suoh approaches her with an offer. Will she help manage the new Ouran High School Host Club? 1st chapter: Prologue.
1. Purple

**Hi Hi~**

**Just an idea, with an OC of mine. Please tell me if I should keep on going.**

**DISCLAIMER: I don't own Ouran Highschool Host Club, but I do own Airi Nakajima and Satomi Fujisaki. Momoka Kurakano is actually a real character!**

I stepped out of the limousine and approached the school building. I sighed. Ouran Academy, Middle School Division. The most obnoxious-looking school on the planet. Or at least the prefecture.

Me? Oh, me. Sorry, I get a bit distracted with the narration sometimes. My name is Airi Nakajima, 14 years old, five foot one and purple hair.

Yup, purple hair. I know it seems Mary Sue-ish, but I felt like dying it from boring old brown. Don't worry, I don't have any stupid dramatic past like my parents killed each other or anything. And I'm not a vampire, either. I'm just a cheerful girl who studied in California for sixth, seventh, and eighth grade, and now that I'm back on the year-round Japanese school calendar…

I still have two whole trimesters of eighth grade to go.

I pulled on my short brown skirt and frowned. Why didn't they make these things longer?

I looked towards some giggling high school students and made a face. Never mind, I'm grateful for this uniform, in a year or so I'm gonna look like a lemon cupcake with purple frosting.

Won't that be a sight.

I walked into my first class and glanced around briefly, making sure I didn't make a mistake with my schedule. A girl with long brown hair pulled back sat down next to me and smiled.

"Hi! You're the student who just came back from America, right?" she asked with a smile.

"Uh… yeah," I said, forcing a smile of my own.

"My name's Kurakano Momoka! It's great that we're in the same class now! I'm the vice-representative, so if you have any questions, feel free to ask!" she beamed.

"Um, okay…" I said, tapping my chin for any possible questions I could have. "Is your first name Momoka or Kurakano? America's ruined me," I asked bluntly.

Momoka giggled and smiled, "It's Momoka. And your first name is Airi, right? Can I call you Airi-chan?"

"Go ahead," I said, waving a hand. "Like I said, America's ruined me. Oh, and I AM in the right class, right?" I added frantically, pointing to my slip of paper.

Momoka squinted. "Uh… yeah, this is the right class."

"Oh, good!" I sighed in relief.

"You get lost easily?"

"Not especially," I answered, "But I'm always so afraid I'll mess things up. Have you ever called someone over, and they don't answer, and then you think that maybe you called them by the wrong name?"

"No… I can't say I have," Momoka answered slowly.

"Hiyama-san," the teacher said. "You need to step outside of class until the bell rings so we can introduce you."

Seriously? I thought they only did that big confrontation scene in anime!

Not that I watch anime… nope, I am most certainly NOT a closet otaku.

After sitting outside the classroom munching on crackers, the teacher opened the door again, saying that stereotypical, "We have a new student today…"

Oh, the suspense!

I walked into class and heard the gasps. What IS this, an anime? Yeah, I have purple hair, you Japanese schoolgirls, suck it up!

I kept a smile and said, "My name is Nakajima Airi, and I just flew back in from studying abroad in America for three years. Please treat me well!"

I heard assorted whispers, squeals, and "she's cute!"s, and didn't know whether to blush or roll my eyes.

So I did both.

It looked pretty stupid.

Then I looked to the corner of the room.

Two twins, both "carrot-topped" and glaring at me. Like, GLARING. It was creepy. They looked so… unpleasant. I'm not sure if I'd want to mess with them.

I sat back down next to Momoka. "Hey, Kurakano-san?"

"Momoka-chan~" she sang.

"Hey, Momoka-chan," I corrected. "Who are the twins in the back of the room playing on their Nintendo DS?"

"Oh, the Hitachiin Twins!" she answered brightly. "Hikaru and Kaoru. They're impossible to tell apart. They prefer to keep to themselves most of the time, but most of the ladies fall for one of them at some point or another!"

"One of them?" I asked, turning back to look at them again, "They look exactly the same. How could you fall for only one of them?"

"Oh, are we talking threesome now, Airi-chan?" Momoka nudged me.

"Ew!" I blushed. Jeez, I had my fair share of 'that's what she said's, but this was just too much!

"At least I whispered it," Momoka said. "Do you want me to introduce you to Hikaru-kun and Kaoru-kun after class?"

"Nah thanks," I answered. "They could kill me with a glare if I got too close."

"What do you mean? I said they keep to themselves, but I never said they were antisocial! They talk to people and stuff!"

"I guess..." I muttered, only half-listening.

"Nakajima-san and Kurakano-san!" the teacher snapped. "I hope that letting you two sit together will not turn out to be a mistake."

"It won't, Sensei…" we both answered quietly.

I continued my first class listening obediently and silently like the good little student I was. The bell rang, ending first period, and I told Momoka that she could go on without me, since I wanted to explore a bit before my next class.

I would've done just that, if two hands hadn't slammed down on my desk, causing my book to fall onto my toes.

I stifled a squeak of pain as I glared at the culprits, who, coincidentally, were glaring back. The Hitachiin Twins. "Can I help you?" I asked as politely as one can ask to someone who just caused her extreme pain.

"Why are you in the A class?" the twin on the right asked.

"Hm?" I asked, confused.

"The Nakajima Clan is going downhill fast in terms of finances," the twin on the left said in a slightly higher voice. "Shouldn't you be in the C class?"

"Um…" I said, unable to answer for a moment. "I did enough extra curricular activities with performing arts and community service in America, so I was able to move up… plus, my brother is in Class 2A."

The twins looked at each other, having some sort of twin-silent-telepathy-conversation. At least, that's my theory.

Okay, maybe I watch a LITTLE bit of anime. InuYasha, Fushigi Yuugi, Full Moon O Sagashite, Tokyo Mew Mew… but that's it!

"Well, you better watch your family's back, Murasaki-chan," they sang, walking off.

Murasaki? Purple?

Besides that first day, though, there's really nothing worth talking to you about. I mean, I kept in touch with my old friends in California, and I became better friends with Momoka. The twins didn't bug me for the rest of the second trimester, or most of the third. My life was normal.

Normal being a relative term, when you have eight younger siblings.

But I'll get into that later.

As much as I hate to admit it now, though, I became interested in the Hitachiins—just like everyone else, it seemed. They all wanted them to come to their parties, to hang out with them, or go out with them. I found out that Kaoru had the higher voice, and the parted his hair And even despite my comment on being able to tell them apart, I thought that I had a crush on Kaoru.

To be honest, I myself wasn't able to tell them apart. I don't know why I chose Kaoru, even. I hadn't talked to him or Hikaru much at all aside from that first encounter. All I knew in my little 14-year-old mind was that I liked Kaoru Hitachiin, and when I confessed to him, he would probably like me back.

And that's how my mind worked. I was a hypocrite.

Then one day in February of our eighth grade, in the third semester, I told my brother, Keichi, to take the limo by himself, because I wanted to walk home today. It wasn't far, and it was such a nice day today, after all!

As my brother mumbled a hesitant yes and walked on, I skipped off in the other direction. I was happy when I felt the wind blow in my hair. Since it was up in buns, it wouldn't get messed up! I loved my hair. Purple actually wasn't my favorite color, though, it was orange, but dying my hair orange would be a bit weird. The flowers on the lawn are pretty. Clovers, I think. There really needed to be some more flowers around campus… maybe I would be able to organize some sort of event… Oh, there was a butterfly! It was weird how you actually didn't see butterflies that much in Japan or California. At least not in Redwood City. I never learned why it was called Redwood City, actually. I wondered if there were, like, Redwood Monsters or something. That would be ridiculous, though, wouldn't it? Then why… ooh, there was Kaoru standing next to that tree! Or was it Hikaru?

"I got your love letter," a voice said from up on the steps of the school building. He had orange hair. The other twin.

"Y-Yes," a girl said, fiddling with her skirt. I believe that was… Fujisaki-san? Satomi Fujisaki? "I really like you, Hikaru-kun. W-Will you go out with me?"

Oh, so the twin by the tree was Kaoru, then. And the one being confessed to was Hikaru.

"Sorry, but I'm Kaoru," the twin on the steps corrected. "You must've put the letter in my desk by mistake. But…

"I really think you're cute, Satomi-chan. Will you go out with me… instead of my brother?" 'Kaoru' said, gently pushing Satomi into a pillar and leering over her the way creepy people do.

Wh-What? I knew deep in the back of my mind that Kaoru never 'loved' me as I 'loved' him, but it was a bit of a wake-up call, still!

"W-Well, I guess… Kaoru-kun," the girl giggled.

'Kaoru-kun' smiled briefly and stood up. "Hey, Kaoru!" he called towards the twin near the tree. "She says she'll be fine with you!"

NOW what's going on?

The new Kaoru walked out from behind the tree and smirked at Satomi.

"Th-Then… you're really Hikaru-kun?" Satomi asked, almost as confused as me.

"Yup," Hikaru said, smirking.

"If you would choose one of us over the other that easily, then you obviously don't love either one of us that much," Kaoru said coldly.

"And what's up with your hairstyle?" Hikaru asked, picking up a curl and twirling it around his finger.

"It's obviously fake. You have no sense of style," Kaoru shrugged.

"Confess again when you've become a better person," they both sneered in sync.

"Y-You… You're both so mean!" the poor girl ran off, crying.

The twins laughed and high-fived each other, walking off.

I just stood from my vantage point in shock. Because what Kaoru had said was completely true. I realized in that moment that I didn't love Kaoru that much—I didn't even know the difference between the two. I was just like Satomi and every other girl who confessed to one of them—I was unworthy, I was horrible, and if I had confessed, I would have gotten the same trick pulled on me.

And I would've fallen for it, just like Satomi, and just like every other girl.

I was a bit depressed after that, I will admit. I was weak, and a bit selfish; I really didn't understand much about anything. I kept to myself, no longer talking to my other classmates, except Momoka, and focusing on my studies. Because of this, I ended up first in my class for exam grades. I wasn't happy, though.

I was confused. I didn't know why I had 'fallen' for Kaoru instead of Hikaru, I didn't know if I had really 'fallen' for either of them. I felt helpless…

Until Tamaki Suoh, middle school third-year, approached me, and asked me to help manage the Host Club.

**Should I continue this? Please leave a review, because this is really just something to test out…**


	2. Sunshine and Kittens

**Hi hi~ Pudding here.**

**So I've decided to continue on with this story until it gets too stereotypical and boring. Which brings me to my mailbag, which is a new thing for me also. (I normally reply by PM).**

**ouran FTW—Thank you! Maybe I did hurt some people's feelings, and I apologize for that, but the point I was trying to make by saying that Airi didn't have a dark past was that, I see Mary Sues all over the OHSHC forum, all of which have some sort of disorder or traumatic past or is a magical creature. I prefer to keep this fandom as a real-world scenario. That means no vampires, werewolves, or pixies.**

**This story takes place before Renge comes. Don't worry though, she's (hopefully) gonna make an appearance and piss Airi off!**

**Quagomay—Oh… wow, that's flattering! Thank you! ~Gives Muffin~**

**Rolo-chan & Krista-jermaine—Thank you! Here's the next update now! ~Gives basket of Muffins~**

**DISCLAIMER: IMMA FIRIN' MAH LAZAAAAAAAAAAAH**

"You're Airi, I presume? Airi Nakajima?"

I looked up from my book, irritated. A tall, blonde boy was in front of me. I presumed he would be older than me. "Yes, Senpai, but I would prefer it if you wouldn't address me so friendly when I don't even know your name."

I had been studying in the second library, in a corner where nobody really goes. Studying… I had been doing that a lot lately. You remember from the last chapter why.

"Ah, forgive me, Nakajima-san," the boy in front of me said with a quick bow.

I cringed a bit, "Never mind, you can call me Airi. 'Nakajima-san' sounds too formal coming from my senpai."

The boy stood up again and brightened considerably. "Already? Even when I've only met you now? Thank you, Airi! I can tell we're going to be great friends!" he squealed, capturing me in a bone-crushing hug.

"What did you want to see me for, Senpai?" I asked, pushing out of the hug.

"Ah, yes," he said, regaining his composure. "I understand that you transferred here yourself from America at the beginning of the second trimester. You're at the top of your class in exams, but you're also famous among your classmates for being very quiet and reserved, doing nothing but studying…"

"I know that," I sighed, frustrated. Why was this idiot summarizing myself for me? "If you just came to tell me what I am, then can you leave so I can resume studying?"

"But is that really what you want to do?" the boy asked, sitting down in the chair across from me.

"Hm?"

"Studying. Is that what you really want to be doing right now?"

"Well, of course not," I answered. "I have things I would much rather be doing, but it's not like I have a choice; I have exams to pass, and so do you."

"What would you rather be doing then?"

I thought for a bit. "Well, I love to perform and dance. Ballet, mostly. I'm not that good, but it's fun. I also like singing and writing and drawing… but I'm not good at any of those either."

"Really?" the boy asked, raising an eyebrow. "Show me a picture that you drew."

"Eh…" I hung my head and pulled out a doodle from my binder. "Here…"

The boy examined the picture and bit his lip, his face slowly turning red.

"You can laugh, don't hold back," I muttered.

He laughed. A lot.

The boy paused from his laugh-fest for a few seconds and wiped a few tears away. "Oh, you're right, as much as I hate to admit it. But now why I'm here…"

Now I was interested.

"My name is Tamaki Suoh… er, Suoh Tamaki; I'm entering the high school division next semester. My friend Ootori Kyoya and I have decided to form a club; the Host Club!"

Tamaki was beaming.

"And this concerns me… how?"

"I was getting to that," he said, bishounen bubbles and sparkles forming around him. "The two of us have so far convinced Haninozuka-senpai and Morinozuka-senpai from the high school division to join us as hosts. We feel that besides hosts, though, we need a manager, someone who can take care of the club alongside the president. That's you!"

"Who's the president?" I asked skeptically.

"Me, of course!" Tamaki yelled dramatically.

"No thank you," I said quietly. "I need to study; I can't get wrapped up in some stupid club that I won't even really be a part of."

"Stupid?" Tamaki looked as though I had slapped him. "It's not stupid! And I've also asked Hikaru and Kaoru Hitachiin from your class to join! Though I'm still working on them… do you by any chance know a way to tell them apart?"

I flinched a bit. "Then I'm definitely not joining."

"And those two are impossible to tell apart," I whispered, so that Tamaki wouldn't hear.

"What?" Tamaki exclaimed. "Definitely not? Pleeeeease? We need someone to help out!"

"Then maybe choose someone else. My friend Kurakano Momoka is pretty high up on the class list, I'm sure she'd love to join."

"But you're different!" Tamaki yelled, standing up.

I shushed him and motioned for him to sit back down. "What do you mean?"

He chuckled, "Why do you think I chose the people I did to be hosts? There are plenty of other good-looking guys around campus. Same with you. It's intuition~"

He was an idiot, even back then…

Frankly, though, I was flattered. Even if I wouldn't admit it, this club sounded like it would be fun. I just didn't want to face Kaoru again, despite the fact that nobody knew I had eavesdropped on that confession.

"We'll pay you 10% of the proceeds," a voice said coming into the room.

"Done," I said without thinking.

"Good," the boy I recognized as Kyoya Ootori said with a smirk. "The first meeting will be on the first Monday of the new school year. Enjoy your Spring Vacation."

"Um, okay…" I said kind of dumbly.

"Great!" Tamaki exclaimed. "I'll see you at the first Host Club meeting in two weeks! Oh no, I only have one more week to guess which one is Hikaru-kun! Adieu, Airi!" he ran off before I could say anything more.

Adieu? He was French, huh…

But that wasn't the point! The point was, that I had just impulsively joined a club that I wanted no part in just for money! What kind of person was I? Sure, I needed the money (since I couldn't take it from my family), but I didn't even know how much money they would make, and was it even allowed to make a club for proceeds? Then what about the Newspaper Club? I guess so… But this is a Host Club! And how in the world does one manage a host club? Surely there's someone more qualified! Just because I'm smart… and what did Tamaki-senpai mean by his intuition? He was an idiot! They were all idiots!

I slammed my face onto the table in despair.

"O Woman-of-a-Thousand-Faces, it's time to go home…" Keichi said awkwardly from behind me.

"Thank you…" I said, looking up.

Going home that day, I forced Keichi to walk with me, despite his protesting. So now I had a 13-year-old boy shuffling sullenly behind me.

I broke the silence, "So how was your day, Keichi-kun?"

"Ahd'nno," he mumbled. "Yours?"

"Good," I said quietly. "I got asked to join a club by Suoh Tamaki-senpai. You heard of him?"

"Suoh-senpai? Yeah, his dad's the director," Keichi said, uninterested.

"WHAT?" I shouted. "How did you find that out and why didn't you tell me?"

"Suoh-sensei speaks to us at orientation, which you didn't go to, and the subject never came up! I'm not as random as you, who would pop up out of a bush right next to him and yell 'He's the chairman's son! Kyaaaa!'"

I pouted, "I don't 'kyaa'…"

"Sure, sure, what's for dinner tonight?"

"I was thinking pasta primavera…"

"Sounds good to me," Keichi said, walking faster.

This is a weird way to go about saying it, but I feel like you should know everything about me before I get into the real depth of my student career, if there is any depth to go into, that is. My father was Itsuki Nakajima, a restaurateur. Itsuki married Yue when I was nine years old and old enough to tease him about it. Keichi is Yue's son. After that the two of them basically went kid-crazy and adopted a bunch of kids who really do have traumatic pasts.

Anyway, the Nakajima clan owns and runs restaurants, (hence restaurateur) and pretty successful ones at that. Unfortunately, some have had to close down in the newer locations, and we've been going downhill fast. My ambition is to be a chef or cook one day, so we laid of our chef (sorry Kikuta-sensei) and now I cook the food in the house.

Every.

Single.

Day.

I'll admit, it's not as fun as I thought it would be, and it's gonna be a heck of a lot harder once I'm a mom and have to do everything else! Of course, I'm not having nine kids.

So, now you pretty know everything you need to know about me.

Oh, never mind. One more thing.

I hate amusement parks. Can't stand them. When I was eleven, my little brother Sora, who was seven at the time, wanted to go on the roller coaster, but was too scared to go by himself. So me, the mature, courageous onee-chan that I am, stupidly decided to go with him despite my fear of heights and ability to get carsick easily. Acrophobia + Motion Sickness = Unhappy Airi.

But that actually wasn't the problem. As we went down a slope, I accidentally hit my nose on the metal "safety" bar and broke it. My nose, I mean, not the bar. Although that would be pretty epic. If I broke a steel bar with my nose. But the blood ruined the outfit. It sucked.

~Cough cough~ So, yeah. That's all you really need to know about me. If you think of anything else please feel free to tell me. For now, I think I'm gonna just go straight to the first day of middle school third year, aka ninth grade, aka the first day of the Ouran High School Host Club.

Cue dramatic music! (Just for you, Tamaki-senpai, just for you…)

I had announced to my family that the three middle-schoolers were all going to walk to school from now on. My oldest-younger sister, Hisako, was starting seventh grade today. And despite the groans from the both of them, we set off anyway.

"Even when it's snowing?" Hisako whined.

I frowned and pulled her along. "Hisa-chan, if it's snowing that badly, then school will be closed."

"What about when it's raining?"

"I think you know the answer to the questions you're asking, Hisako."

"Hisako, shut up," Keichi groaned.

Hisako slapped him. Don't you love that sibling relationship?

"There's the class lists!" Hisako yelled excitedly, rushing ahead of us and joining the crowd gathered at the first-year board.

I bid Keichi goodbye and trotted over to the third-year list. "Let's see… Nakajima… Nakajima… there! Class A! Again…"

There was really no surprise in the matter. Classes were mixed slightly, but most of them were arranged by social standing, so all the poorest rich families and the Yakuza were left in Class D.

And that would be me (and my siblings) if not for my extra-curriculars…

I looked back on the list for "Kurakano" to see if Momoka was in my class. Sure enough, she was! Yay? And since I didn't have anything better to do, I looked around on the rest of the list to see other people's classes so I could memorize them. I managed to hold back a gasp when I read the name below mine.

Hitachiin Kaoru. Hitachiin Hikaru. Class A.

Nooooooooo…

[~Internally Sighs…~ Oh, I'm writing this in English, aren't I? Well, the reason that "K" is before "N" and "H" is after "N" is because that's how the Japanese alphabet works. Nothing more to be said.]

**(Please correct me if I'm wrong, I only did this based off of the class list in "Negima!")**

"Look at that, we're in the A Class again," two familiar voices said behind me. I tensed up and turned around slowly.

"Oh, it's Murasaki-chan! We haven't talked to you in a while," they both greeted, smiling warmly. "Looks like we're in the same class again."

What on Earth happened to them? This was practically the first time I had seen them smile. I found myself staring a bit.

"Hello, Murasaki-chan?" Hikaru (I think it was Hikaru) waved his hand in front of my face.

I snapped back and shook my head a bit, trying to come up with something to say back at them. "Stop calling me Murasaki-chan, please! My name is Nakajima Airi!"

"I heard from Tamaki-senpai that you're going to be the manager of the Host Club we're starting," Kaoru (I think it was Kaoru) said, ignoring my shout of protest.

I was surprised and didn't quite know how to respond. Then realization struck me. "Waitaminnet, _'__We__'_? You accepted?" I asked in awe.

"Yeah, we thought it'd be fun!" they both shrugged.

"Ugh," I hid my face in my hands. I looked back up at them and sighed, exhausted with the world. "Yes, yes I am being the manager of the Host Club. Reluctantly…" I finished to make them clear that I wasn't doing this for fun.

Honestly, I have no clue what I was trying to prove back then… I felt awkward enough just talking to them, though they didn't know why. Luckily Momoka pulled me out of it. Or had tried to, anyway.

"Airi-chan! There you are! We're in the same class again, isn't that great?" the girl who I had considered my best friend squealed, grabbing my arm.

I smiled kindly, happy to see her so giddy again after a week. "Yeah, it is! So, um…" I said awkwardly, glancing back at the suspicious twins every few seconds, "Wh-What's up with you, I guess…?"

"Oh, I've been good. My brother's in seventh grade this year… Hi Hikaru-kun, Hi Kaoru-kun! We're in the same class again, aren't we? Please treat Airi-chan and I good!"

"Please treat _Airi-chan_ and _me_ _well_," I corrected her bitterly. Honestly, she needed to work on her Japanese.

"Yes, we are in the same class, Momoka-chan," Hikaru purred seductively.

"Please stop by the Host Club after school to see us, won't you?" Kaoru asked sweetly.

Momoka blushed… the fan girls squealed… and I blushed.

Love sucked. And I had thought that I didn't even love Kaoru anymore, what the heck, man.

The both of them smirked and walked away, satisfied with the reaction. I chased after them, angry (and flustered).

"Wh-What the heck was that?"

"We need practice if we're going to be hosts today," Kaoru said nonchalantly.

"Even though Tamaki-senpai said he had a whole incest thing planned for us…" Hikaru stated thoughtfully.

"Incest?" I yelled a bit too loud. As everyone in the hall turned to stare at me, the twins both bit their lips to hold back the laughter.

I quickly rushed along the halls to get to class, blushing like crazy. What sucked about blushing so easily is that everyone can always tell what you're thinking. When you were embarrassed, everyone knew, when you were angry, everyone knew, and when you were exhausted from doing the simplest things in physical education, everyone knew. Luckily, I would be able to opt out of PhysEd next year, in high school. It was times like these that I wished I were back in California, where high school started at ninth grade instead of tenth. School seemed to make more sense in America. The sky was very blue… and not that many clouds, either. The cherry blossoms would start blooming in April. That was soon. For now, they were just regular trees. Cherry blossom trees never seemed to have cherries when I saw them. Cherry blossoms looked like some sort of candy. Like pink marshmallows. How did you even spell marshmallow? It should have been marsh-mellow, but instead it was marsh-mallow. Did that even mean anything? Like a mallow marsh? Whoa, mallow was a word? What did it mean? Oh, it was a pink flower. A sakura blossom was a pink flower! Oh my Man of Purple Roses I was confused!

"Marshmallows…" I mumbled as I sat down in a seat.

"Marshmallows?" two voices said next to me.

I whipped my head around in surprise. "Why are you here?" I yelled.

"We're in this class," the twins said flatly. Like _I_ was the crazy one here!

Oh. I was.

"You're a lot different than how people describe you," they both said. I turned to look at them again, making an apparently very amusing face, since they both started biting back their lip.

"Elaborate," I said simply.

That's kind of ironic, huh? No?

"Everyone thinks you're an emotionless Murasaki-chan who doesn't care about anything more than grades."

"_And __everyone __knew __that __you __were __antisocial __Carrot-tops __until __today __apparently __when __you __decided __to __go __all __sunshine-and-kittens __on __us,__"_ I thought bitterly.

I didn't talk to them for the rest of the day. They talked to me, though. A lot. And Momoka seemed absolutely ecstatic when they decided to sit at the same table as us at lunch.

"Aren't you going to order something, Murasaki-chan?" they both asked at one point, eyebrows raised.

"Airi-chan wants to be a—oof!" she flinched as I stepped on her foot. She looked at me, hurt, and then realized what was going on. She giggled and tried again. "I mean, Airi-chan cooks her own lunches! She makes really good food! She wants to be a—oof!" Again I inflicted pain on poor, talkative Momoka.

And now I'm just going to skip to the first meeting, since that's what you've wanted to see, I assume.

Whoa, more than three thousand words. Maybe I should stop the entry here… yeah, sorry, that's what I'm gonna do.

Oh no wait! Better! I'll torture you with a cliffie!

Heh heh.

I walked down the pathway to the high school building. Keichi and Hisako had taken the car home, since I wasn't there to supervise.

I stopped when I reached the front courtyard and mentally whistled. It was much more… extravagant than the middle school edifice. This one looked more like a castle than a school building.

I looked behind me, to see if the Hitachiins were anywhere in sight. They must have gone ahead of me, I thought, if they're not here yet.

I entered the building and took out my map that I'd printed out, looking for Music Room 3.

No, I'm not even kidding. They have more than one music room. AND it's where a Host Club is. Go figure the arts.

I saw the room, and checked my map one more time to make sure I was right. I opened the door a crack just to be sure. Boy would it be awkward if I walked into the room and…

Oh. Oh wow.

AHAHAHA I TOLD YOU IT WOULD BE A CLIFFIE! I BET YOU'RE MAD AT ME NOW! TAKE THAT! XP

**Please excuse Airi's bratty behavior, as well as that cliffie she wrote. I shall scold her, and she will get no cookies tonight. Shaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaame.**

**No. I am NOT one of those people who talks to their OCs. I don't know why, but that's kind of a pet-peeve of mine. Huh. Ya know, when people go:**

**Pudding: This chapter sucked, give me compliments.**

**Mary Sue OC: Yes! *throws rocks***

**I have no idea why I made my Mary Sue throw rocks. That's just what she does. I'll tell you about my Mary Sue some other day… or now.**

"**My name is Kawaii Neko-chan Desu~ and I have bright pink hair and eyes that sparkle! Haruhi hates me because I am competishun 4 her man! Both of the Hitacheeeeeeeeeen twins fell in wuv with meh at first sight! I am pretendin 2 b a boi so dat I can stop living on the streets while keeping my secret that I'm actually a Mew Mew kitty-neko-usa-inu-kuma-chan FORM DA FYUCHA. But then one day I found out that my mum was a VAMPIRE and she bit me and now I em a kitty vampiyah and everyone loves me and I'm supah-mega-foxy-awesome-hott. But then I got in a CAR CRASH and I dies and then come back to lahf with mah magical powers of KAWAII DESU. I WATCHED ALL OF MY LITTLE SIBLINGS DIE AND IT WAS MAH FAULT ~."**

**That was fun. I was laughing to myself half the time. Kawaii Neko-chan Desu is now ©Morumotto-chi.**

**Sorry 'bout the cliffhanger, I just thought the chappie was getting a bit lengthy.**


	3. Cheesecake and Nasturtiums

**Hi hi~**

**It's been awhile since I updated orz**

**DISCLAIMER: It just struck me that this site is called "Fan Fiction", implying that it is fiction written by fans. This leads to the conclusion that the original owners of the mentioned content have no personal association whatsoever with the writer, because fan means, and I quote, an enthusiastic admirer. Apparently, we're so enthusiastic that we make our own fantasies of how the story should go, or how it would be with our Mary Sues in it. :3**

**DUDE I SHOULD MAKE A REMAKE OF THIS STORY WITH MY MARY SUE OC IN IT, KAWAII NEKO-CHAN! Look for her bio in the previous chapter's ending A/N.**

* * *

><p>The whole. Room.<p>

The whole room.

Was covered.

With.

Cake.

(Oh, don't get me wrong, I love cake! Always have, always will. It's just… well, would you expect to find a third music room mounded with cake on your first day managing a host club?)

"Oh. Oh wow," I said quietly upon entering.

I glanced around the room, desperate for a sign of anyone I knew; Suoh-senpai, the Twins, Ootori-senpai, anyone!

Instead I found Honey. 'Course, I didn't know who he was back then…

He was sitting in front of the pile, opening the cakes from their plastic covers and popping them into his mouth two at a time. He caught me staring and smiled at me fondly.

"Hi! Do you want some cake?" he offered, holding out a cheesecake.

I shook my head politely, my eyes still wandering around for someone I knew. "N-No thanks, I'm really not a cheesecake person…"

"Oh, but we have much more besides cheesecakes!" the boy chirped. "You can have chocolate cake, lemon cake, apple spice cake, and we also have strawberry shortcakes, and there should be a few tiramisus in there and some chocolate lava cakes! Those ones are my favorite, though… We can go halfsies! I like to dip the strawberries in the melty chocolate!" he rambled excitedly.

I subconsciously relaxed, happy to talk about something I knew about. "Actually, the chocolate lava cakes taste really good with pineapple," I suggested.

"Pineapple?" he repeated.

"Mm-hm," I said, sitting on the carpet next to him. "You wouldn't think they would mix, but the citrus-sweetness of the pineapple is really good with the molten chocolate, even more so if it's dark chocolate."

"Wow," the boy said, looking at the cake in wonder. "You sure seem to know a lot about cakes! I should try that!" he squealed happily. "What's your name?"

"Um, my name is Nakajima…" I answered nervously.

"Nakajima what?"

"What do you mean 'Nakajima what'?"

"What's your first name?"

"A-Airi…"

"That's a nice name! Can I call you Mura-chan?"

"U-Uh, sure, I guess…" As much as I despised the nickname of "Purple", I wasn't about to hurt this poor elementary boy's feelings…

"I'm Haninozuka Mitskuni, but everyone calls me Honey!" Honey said cheerily.

Haninozuka… the name ran in my head as I thought where I'd heard it before. My mind snapped back to Tamaki mentioning two _first-years_ named Morinozuka-senpai and Haninozuka-senpai.

Meaning this kid was a second year. Sixteen. Two whole years older than me. Keep in mind, I would turn fifteen in November. So, three years older. Holy crudmuffins, people.

"Is something wrong, Mura-chan?" Honey asked worriedly.

"No, nothing's wrong Honey-senpai…" I sighed. "I was honestly a bit surprised that you were a second year, though." And I was a kind of mad at my nickname, too.

"I get that a lot," Honey chirped, taking another bite out of a carrot cake. "So, you're our manager, huh? Tama-chan said I'm the Loli-shota type."

Did this kid come up with cute nicknames for everyone?

"Yup, I'm the manager (apparently). And whoa, 'Loli-shota'? Isn't that a bit… offensive, maybe?" I questioned.

"Not really. I'm short, cute, and I love cake!" Honey beamed, giggling cutely.

"Right…" I said slowly, "Um, anyway, do you know where Suoh-senpai and everyone else in the club would be—"

"Right here, Murasaki-chan," the Twins chorused from behind me, each poking my cheek.

I drew in my breath quickly (otherwise known as gasping) in surprise. "Oh, you two scared me," I said, panting slightly.

"You're too easy to scare," one Twin said.

"Not a very fun toy at all, really," the other said.

"Well, that's good, because I would not appreciate being a toy," I muttered.

"Airi! You're here!" a voice I recognized as Tamaki said. I looked over to where he stood, behind a pile of cakes.

"We can call this meeting to order then," Kyoya said, pushing up his glasses and smirking.

"Welcome, members of the new Ouran High School Host Club!" Tamaki declared (flamboyantly), "I, as you know, am Suoh Tamaki, first year, fifteen years old, and the Princely Type! Now we shall introduce ourselves around the circle, starting with Kyoya! Aaaand, go!"

Oh, my god…

Kyoya smiled. It wasn't a happy smile, mind you. "Ootori Kyoya. First year, fifteen years old. I am set to be the 'Cool Type'."

"I'm Honey, I'm a second year and sixteen years old! I'm the Shota type!" Honey said happily. "And this is Usa-chan," he added, referring to the stuffed rabbit in his hands. "He's Morinozuka Takashi, also a second year and sixteen years old. He's the 'Wild Type'. We're cousins!"

I looked over to Mori and examined him. Honestly, he looked kind of… dull. But quiet. I thought he would be easy to talk to. (I was right.)

"We're the Hitachiin Twins, Hikaru and Kaoru!" the Twins chorused. "We're third years in middle school and are fourteen years old. We're supposedly the Little Devil Types."

All eyes turned to me, as I was the last one to go. Oh god, talking had not been fun for me lately.

"Uh," I started. "My name is Nakajima Airi (also known as Murasaki-chan or Mura-chan), I'm also in the ninth grade and am fourteen years old. I'm supposed to be the manager."

"I have a question!" Honey raised his hand.

"Mitskuni," Mori acknowledged him.

"You studied abroad, didn't you, Mura-chan? What're American schools like?" Honey asked eagerly.

"And why did you decide to dye your hair purple?" Tamaki asked, eager to put forth his own question.

"Why am I getting all the questions?" I asked, frustrated.

"Because you were late, Murasaki-chan," the Twins said.

"My name is Airi, please…" I rubbed my temples.

That first meeting had me dreading the year to come. Of course, this whole piece was nicknamed 'The Evolution of Airi Nakajima'. So, I'm going to evolve. Somewhat, at least. Like a Pokémon! Did you know that according to Spellchecker, Pokémon is a word, but Pokemon isn't? Like how it autocorrects cafe to café.

Anyway.

The Twins were able to convince a whole bunch of third-years to come to the Host Club when it opened, which was, frankly, not a surprise. I, on the other hand, tried to lay low and minimize my association with the Club. I didn't need the attention.

"Airi-chan!" Momoka called out, dropping her book bag on the desk next to mine. "How are things going with the Host Club? Are you going to be open for business soon?"

I forced a smile, "Yeah, Kyoya-senpai and I are just working out a few things; we should be accepting our first customers by Friday…"

"That's great!" Momoka squealed. "I want to designate the Hitachiin Twins…" she said with a dreamy look on her face.

"Do you know what's going on with those two?" I asked, changing the subject. I motioned over to Hikaru and Kaoru. They were chatting with other classmates and laughing. LAUGHING. "They seem a lot more sociable than before, don't they?"

"I don't know," Momoka said thoughtfully, putting a finger to her chin. "Maybe. But either way, they're super cute!" she squealed.

Oh my god… That first encounter at the class lists went to her head, didn't it…

After school was over, I left Hisako and Keiichi (which was now a given) to walk over to the high school building.

In the past few days, everyone had basically been preparing for business. Tamaki had run through the routines with everyone, and Kyoya had assisted me with organizing events and food. I figured out in my sole two days in the Host Club that Kyoya was more of a president than Tamaki would ever be.

Hikaru and Kaoru would continue to tease me when I was in the middle of organizing things. It irked me.

"Murasaki-chan, what color was your hair before?" they would ask stupid questions like that.

I would sigh, and normally try to reply with something civilized, like "I'm in the middle of doing something right now, can you leave me alone?" or "That's not a very urgent question, can you leave me alone?"

They would come back saying, "But we're bored. Nothing's going on right now. How 'bout this!" they both snapped their fingers. "If you can guess which one of us is Hikaru, then we'll leave you alone!"

That time I was startled. I was SO not prepared to try this. "I-If you guys want people to guess so badly, why don't you turn it into a game-show?"

They looked at each other, and then back at me, smirking. "That's not a bad idea!"

I got to like Honey the most in those couple days. I talked to him about cake, what I liked to bake and what I recommended. I would try to convince him to call me by my first name instead of "Mura-chan".

Mori… he didn't talk. At all. In the Airi World, often if you didn't talk, you didn't exist. But Mori was different somehow. He was tall, for one thing. It's hard to ignore the existence of a tall person. 'Course when you're my height, everyone's tall.

Tamaki had the capacity to get on my nerves like no other. He insisted that the Host Club would gradually bloom into a family, and we would be inseparable and do everything together and stuff like that. He said he would be the father. I disagreed.

"But I'm the King! Surely I would be the best candidate for the daddy of the family!" he would whine.

"You? I say Kyoya-senpai has done most of the work so far," I would argue.

"But he would make the best mom! Because he's vice president!"

"So is that sexism I'm hearing now?" I would say half-sarcastically.

"N-No! Not at all! I just thought that—"

"Don't worry, if you're the daddy, you're the daddy, Milord," I said sarcastically.

"Yeah, we should call him 'Tono' from now on!" the Twins popped out of nowhere. "It definitely suits him."

"If you little devils are going to call me anything, call me King! Treat me with proper respect and dignity!" Tamaki argued.

"It's a little late for that…" I sighed. "Kyoya-senpai, what else do we need to do before tomorrow?"

Kyoya turned, and looked at his clipboard. "All that's left to do is set the furniture and decorations up. The food should be here by tomorrow, and the ladies can come in."

"Great!" Tamaki cheered. "Everyone! Let's all help our vice-president and manager set up the room!"

"Takashi and I will go and get the sofa from the faculty lounge!" Honey beamed.

"Hm," Mori grunted.

"Hikaru! Kaoru!" Tamaki ordered, "You go and find tablecloths and silverware that we can use!"

"Roger, Tono!" the two responded jokingly.

As everybody went about doing their "jobs" frantically, Kyoya turned to me. "Airi, we're actually a bit short on sweets, on account of Honey's cake binge on Monday. Would you mind baking extra?"

This was quite unexpected. I raised an eyebrow questioningly, but Kyoya just continued to smile. "I guess so…" I said slowly. "Any requests?"

"Whatever you can make a lot of in a little time," Kyoya answered. "I have a feeling we'll be having a lot of ladies visiting tomorrow."

I walked back home after that, as usual, and thought. How could I not think, though? But it all seemed very odd to me. The Host Club, I mean. They had all just met me; heck, they had all just met each other, and yet Tamaki's "family" concept seemed to already be taking form. It made me feel… happy. I thought I could get used to them. Maybe open up to them, if I feel like it.

Again, NO, no traumatic pasts here. I just… yeah. It's one of those things where you like people, and you wish they would talk to you, and maybe if you try to look really pitiful and lonely, then they'll come over and ask you to hang out or eat lunch with them. But that doesn't happen.

(It's also one of those things where you know that if you actually do open your mouth to try and make friends, something unintentionally awkward, offensive or stupid will come out without your consent.)

I punched in the code for the gate and watched it open ever so slowly. I strolled up the path and stopped at the garden. It was the little things in life that you never appreciate. I picked a nasturtium petal and munched on it. Peppery. Edible flowers—Mother Nature was a freaking genius. I thought a bit about if I could make a baked good out of nasturtium petals. I would have to look it up when I got inside.

"Hey, Ellie," I waved at the head maid. Ellie was awesome, to put it shortly. She moved from America and had a HORRIBLE accent because of it. She followed me to California the second two years of my studying abroad to be my guardian. The first year I stayed at a stranger's house, like any transfer student.

"How was school, Airi-san?" Ellie asked, a bright smile on her face.

"Good. I told you about the Host Club, didn't I?"

Ellie opened the door and stepped in after me. "Yes, you did. Are they giving you a hard time?"

"Yes!"

"Onee-chan! Wanna play dollies with me and Isuzu?" my at-the-time-three-year-old sister, Kayla, asked.

I sighed, "Sorry, Sweetie, not now. I've got to do homework… and so does Isuzu," I finished a bit louder, hoping my other sister would hear.

"Thank you!" Isuzu yelled from the next room. "Let me do my work in peace!"

"Oh good, you're home," Keiichi said. "I'm hungry."

"Airi's home, oh great!" Hisako ran in. "Can you help me with my algebra homework? I need to prove Noriko wrong, and…"

My other brothers and sister, now aware of my arrival, flooded the scene along with my sisters and Keiichi.

I rubbed my temples. "Look, all of you. I'm baking cupcakes. With nasturtiums, if possible. Isuzu, look up a recipe on the internet."

"I found a recipe for 'nasturtium carrot cupcakes'. That sound good?" she called.

"Dude, that's not how you pronounce 'nasturtium'," Keiichi commented.

"Okay, then! If anyone wants to help, Ellie and I will be in the kitchen getting about two hundred or so of these ready," I rubbed my hands together in anticipation.

"Then you need the help," Hisako sighed, putting down her book.

"I wanna help Onee-chan!" Kayla dropped her dolls and ran over.

"Got nothing better to do," Keiichi said flatly.

Oh, don't worry; I don't expect you to remember all their names. I didn't even give you all their names. All you need to know—Kayla was the youngest, at three years old. Hisako and Keiichi were in middle school, like me. Everyone else was somewhere between the ages of five and ten, and honestly, I don't pay much attention to their ages anymore. Birthdays come and go, but nobody really matures. Ever.

Anyway, they're all adopted, like I said before, except for Keiichi and me, who are with one of our real parents. Yue-san and my father keep photos of our real families in the family room, so nobody forgets what their parents and siblings look like.

The off-topic family introduction is complete. And as much as I would like to say the cupcakes turned out perfectly, we completely botched the first batch and burned the second. So the Host Club was stuck with 150 cupcakes due to lack of nasturtiums on the Nakajima property.

Lawl.

Don't know where that came from.

"Onee-chan, why are we making so many treats?" Rina asked.

I smiled for my sister, "It's for the club I joined."

"What club?" little five-year-old Seiya asked.

"Uh…" I answered, not wanting to say "Host Club " and then have to explain what it was.

"It's the Host Club," Keiichi said indifferently, before I could stop him.

"What's a host club?" Kayla asked in her weak American accent.

"It's where guys will say nice things to girls, or pretend that they're in love with them," Hisako explained as innocently as it could be.

"Isn't that lying to them?" Kusame asked.

"I'm not directly involved with the behavior, I'm making cupcakes," I said defensively, putting my hands up.

"Everyone under the age of nine, go to bed!" Ellie called.

And then there were five.

"I should probably do my homework now," I said thoughtfully, looking at the clock. Eight. Oops. "I'm heading to my room to do my work!"

"Kay, have fun," Ellie sang.

Hm… I'm just here trying to think of useless facts to throw at you to make you really confused and think this whole story is kind of stupid. Uh… I don't let anyone into my room. Ever. Except for Hisako. Because we're practically best friends. Kind of.

Um… I don't like physical science. It makes no sense. With biology, it's structure and function, but with physics and chemistry, it makes no sense; it's all formulas to memorize and lots and lots of ugly ugly math.

I like geometry. Geometry's good. It's nice to have a visual instead of just formulas to memorize and lots of ugly ugly math.

…Well, hey hey hey, folks! We're at 3000 words again! That means it's near time to end this installment!

…But I feel like writing more, so you're in luck. Or bad luck, if you don't like hearing me talk about my odd-ball lifestyle in an AU form of a popular shoujo manga.

Breaking the fourth wall, I don't care.

I walked to school again the next day heading straight for Music Room 3 to set up. I reached the door and pushed it open with my shoulder, since I was holding the cupcakes.

"Ah, Airi-san," Kyoya said. "You baked something, I assume?"

"Uh, yeah," I answered. "My family helped me. We used the nasturtiums in our yard."

"Your family!" Tamaki exclaimed. "That's great! Do you all sit at a kotatsu when it's cold, and warm your feet? Kyoya says that he doesn't have a kotatsu, and neither do Hikaru and Kaoru!"

"Uh, we're a pretty big family, so it'd be hard to find a kotatsu that sat us all."

"How many?" Honey asked.

I sighed, "Eleven, but that doesn't matter, help me set up the cupcakes for business."

Kyoya smirked. "You seem to have gotten pretty into this, haven't you?"

"It gives me purpose. Something to occupy myself with." I clapped my hands. "Alright then, are we ready or are we ready?"

Kyoya pushed up his glasses. "We're definitely prepared. Everyone please meet here after second period for the first business session."

So, after second period, I went there! Yay!

This time I made sure the Twins didn't ditch me.

…Yeah, we were friends, kind of. They were still immature and annoying, but…it was good to have someone to get pissed off at, as weird as that sounds. Sometimes you want to see your annoying friends.

"You two are SO not ditching me this time!" I yelled at them.

"Everyone heard that, Murasaki-chan," they deadpanned.

"Do I look like I care what other people think? I have purple Princess Leia hair for crying out loud. I am not walking there alone again!"

"You have all the other times."

"But… we're friends now, right? So it's okay for us to go together?"

"…"

"Did I just make myself sound really creepy and stupid? Because that happens to me."

Without warning, Hikaru and Kaoru both burst into laughter, hitting me on the back. I flinched. "Of course we're friends! We're all in the Host Club, right?"

"Sh, not so loud!" I whispered.

"Oh, so you don't mind having purple Princess Leia hair, but you're embarrassed about being in the Host Club?" one asked.

"We're hurt, Murasaki-chan," the other joked.

"We're here!" I shouted, ignoring the last comment when I opened the door.

The scent of rose petals blew through the doorway as every girl's dream bishounen fantasy played out right before my eyes. "Welcome," the four men said seductively.

I shuddered visibly and shook my head. Friends, Airi, FRIENDS. No matter how incredibly hot they look, you're not a whore. You're professional. You associate with them. Professionally.

"It's just us," the Twins cut into my thoughts.

"But we had to rehearse!" Tamaki protested. "So, what do you think, Airi? Was that bishounen enough?"

"Uh, yeah," I answered awkwardly. "How'd you get the rose petals in there?"

"What rose petals?"

"…"

The door creaked open behind us, revealing three first-year girls. "Welcome, ladies," the Hosts chorused.

"Welcome," I said with my best smile. "Um, please choose a Host to designate."

Two chose Tamaki, and one chose the Twins. The rest of us were able to watch.

I was trying hard not to crack up at Tamaki's performance. He was just…like a hooker or something. I mean, he's seductive, but that's it. Again, I'm in no position to talk, I would probably melt if someone did that to me. Or I'd slap them.

The Twins' performance, on the other hand, kept me completely engaged. I was a sucker for twincest. Watching them act like that towards each other, I could barely manage to listen to what the others were saying. I snapped back to reality when Kyoya asked the question,

"So, Airi likes the Brotherly Love package we have here?"

I shot a horrified look at him. "N-No, not especially!"

Honey giggled. "Mura-chan, you're the only girl here. It's okay to like us!"

"But I don't want to be like other girls…" I mumbled. "I want to be the one who isn't weak and doesn't succumb to the seductive crap."

"Well, then that's just not you," Mori said.

Dude, he talks!

"You're unique, Mura-chan," Honey insisted. "I don't know anyone else with purple hair! Or who went to school in America!"

I smiled, "Thanks, Honey-senpai." I ruffled his hair a bit.

A few more girls walked in, and the boys and I did our routine again. The cycle went on, and soon we had a whole bunch of people coming in. I noticed the one who was designated the least in that day was Kyoya, which was just plain wrong, because he was just as hot as the next guy. If there would be one turnoff for me about him, it would be if you knew him and his sadistic personality personally. But most people didn't. So why not designate the cool dude with glasses? Gawsh.

So, anyway, the first day went really well. Momoka came in, and, as promised, designated the Hitachiin Twins. I felt the need to look away during that session for some reason.

The hardest part by far of my job as "manager" was telling the girls that their shift was over for the day. Fifteen minutes apparently wasn't enough time for them. I would have to talk to Kyoya about that.

My cupcakes were eaten. So I was pretty much satisfied. Woot.

"Good work today, everyone!" Tamaki sang after-hours.

"Quick question: are we going to have to go through this every day?" I asked skeptically.

"Why, you don't like it?" the Twins teased.

"If we're lucky, business will remain consistent or raise as we go on throughout the year," Kyoya answered.

"Ugh. Then we need to give the girls more time with the Hosts. They get hissy."

"Agreed."

And most days were similar to that very first. Everyday I would go to school and the Host Club, I'd get a bit ticked off but have fun, and then when I got home I would help with homework, cook dinner, do my homework, watch morally terrifying American reality shows, and pass out on my bed by eleven. On Sundays I would often sleep in. Late. Really late.

Now, my lovelies, is when the story is really going to pick up. I'm going to pick a few instances where we didn't follow the usual routine; when something unusual happened. Trust me, a lot of stuff actually happened before Haruhi came into the picture.

We'll start with when my friend Bridget visited from California.

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><p><strong>That took soooooooooooooo loooooooooooong.<strong>

**La Pregunta del Capítulo: What do you think I should include as mini stories before the Haruhi arc?**

**La Segundo Pregunta del Capítulo: …Oh my god I forgot what it was. Uh… aw man…I'm not even going to delete this once I remember…dude, it was right OH WAIT WAIT I REMEMBER! Do you want to see some KaoruxAiri fluff, and if so, how much?**

**Dude, that blue button is telling you to leave a review. It doesn't even say please. It's demanding it. I would do it, man, don't wanna make it angry.**

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**V**


	4. Bridgett and BlowUp Mattresses

**Hi hi~**

**My new favorite person is MuffinMuffin. Worship the name of the person who followed the order of the blue review button.**

**Bridget's-a-comin'! Beware! I'm renaming her Bridgett just to piss the real Bridget off!**

**DISCLAIMER: Do I really have to do this? No, no I don't.**

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><p><em>Flaaaaaaaaaaashbaaaaaack~<em>

"_Waaaah, Airi, I don't want you to leave me all alone with Melissa! She'll eat me!"_

"_Bridgett, you're crazy," I rolled my eyes at her._

"_Ya know ya love me," she said with a cheesy grin._

"_Sure," I responded, "But Meli's not that bad. And I promise I'll come visit you here in California whenever I can."_

"_Promise?" Bridgett held out a hand. "Spit-Swear Promise?"_

"_Sure," I sighed, spitting on my palm and holding it out hesitantly._

_That was so freaking gross._

_In the present daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay~_

"Murasaki-chan! Murasaki-chan! Hey, Murasaki-chan, are you—"

"What?" I yelled.

"You fell asleep," the Twins explained. "We were trying to do you a favor and wake you up."

I sighed and pushed my chair back, "I hate French, though. It's like a repeat of English."

"Well, if you're so good at language-learning, I'm sure you could tutor Hikaru a bit," the one who was apparently Kaoru grinned.

"Quiet, you," Hikaru punched him playfully. "It's not like you're any better at math."

I didn't say anything. I just stared hard at them. Okay, I thought, so if that's Hikaru, then that means that Kaoru is on the left now. Hikaru on the right, Kaoru on the left. Hikaru left part, Kaoru right part. Hikaru's bad at languages, Kaoru's bad at math. Remember that.

"Murasaki-chan, class is over. We're heading to the Host Club now."

"Ugh, you can just go on without me. I was so out of it I didn't pack my things. I need to make a few stops concerning make-up work from my sick days as well," I replied apologetically.

The two shrugged and walked off.

The month was May. I had been an honorary member of the Ouran High School Host Club for a month now, and I was getting quite used to it. The craziness that seemed so alien to me on that first day felt so normal now.

I was slowly losing my friendship with Momoka for the Host Club. We talked less and less and I felt really bad about it. I thought that I should try to strike up a conversation while she was at Club.

I walked through to the High School campus and made it to Music Room #3. I opened the door and uttered a flat "False alarm" before the boys said their opening line.

"Mura-chan! How was your Sunday?" Honey asked gleefully.

"Good, I guess," I answered. "Any customers yet?"

"Not as of today," Kyoya answered. "But I received a phone call from someone who said they knew you."

A stalker?

"A 'Bridgett McElligott'."

Oh crapbaskets.

"I-I know her… She's an old friend of mine. What did she say to make me want to hide under a rock?" I asked nervously.

Kyoya's eyebrows went up in amusement. "Nothing, she said that your sister had given you my number and to tell you that she was visiting soon."

"Dammit, Hisako!" I swore.

"Bridgett? What a weird name. Is she a foreigner?" Hikaru and Kaoru asked.

"Yeah."

"Do we get to meet her? I want to meet Mura-chan's American friends!" Honey squealed.

"I would very much enjoy meeting a commoner!" Tamaki said excitedly, "Will you bring her to the Host Club, please?"

I sighed, "You guys really wouldn't want to… American… humor is different from Japanese…It took me a whole year living in her house to get used to her."

"I think everyone would love to meet your friend, Airi," Kyoya said, "You should take her to the Host Club with you."

I balled my fists in frustration. "Fine."

"Yay!"

I walked home that day in a foul mood. Cross that, I was downright pissed. Kyoya gave me his number for Host Club purposes, and Hisako thinks that she can just take my phone (that I so carelessly left at the mansion) and give it to one of my close friends! And just how urgently did Bridgett need to talk to me?

I punched in the gate code and stormed in, ignoring Ellie's warm welcome. "Wait, Miss—" she protested.

"**!****"** a voice yelled in English.

"Gaaah!" I yelled. **"****Bridgett! ****What ****the ****heck?****"**

"**Aren****'****t ****you ****happy ****to ****see ****me?****"** she giggled, hugging me. **"****This ****is ****the ****first ****time ****I****'****ve ****been ****to ****your ****house. ****It****'****s ****just ****as ****big ****as ****you ****said ****it ****was! ****You ****ARE ****rich!****"**

"Look, Bridgett," I said, switching to Japanese, "As great as it is that you came to see me, I really wish you hadn't sent your message to the Shadow King of all people."

"Airi," Bridgett said with a frown, "This is the first time we've seen each other in, what, a year and a half or so, I'm not counting, and your first reaction is to be pissed off at me!"

I scowled.

"I've missed your temper, Biffle!" Bridgett squealed.

"Oh my god, not again with that stupid BFFL thing, Bridgett," I groaned.

"But yo mah biffle!"

"Find another biffle!"

"You're my Biffle-chan, Airi!"

"Shut up!"

"Ya know ya love me!"

"…You're coming to school with me tomorrow."

"Okay!"

So she came with me to school.

…Classes are boring. The majority of all the fun stuff happens in the Host Club anyway so let's just skip to Host Club time.

"**Bridgett, ****these ****are ****your ****replacements,****"** I said so the Host Club couldn't understand, **"****The ****tall ****blonde ****idiot ****is ****Tamaki, ****the ****twins ****are ****Hikaru ****and ****Kaoru, ****the ****tall, ****nerdy ****guy ****is ****Kyoya, ****the ****16-year-****old ****who ****looks ****like ****he****'****s five****is ****Honey, ****and ****the ****16-year-****old ****who ****looks ****like ****he****'****s ****twenty ****is ****Mori.****"**

"**Kyoya****'****s ****hot!****"** Bridget said with a smile.

"**I know, right!"**

"**You got your Japanese accent back."**

"**What? ****No ****way!****" **A cough from the twins brought me back to Japan. "Ahem," I cleared my throat, switching languages, "Guys, this is my… my best friend, McElligott Bridgett. I stayed at her house when I was a transfer student in sixth grade. Um… anything else they should know about you?" I asked, turning to Bridgett.

"Um… I like chocolate."

"Are you British?" the Twins asked. "You have a weird accent."

"It's a lisp!" Bridgett yelled.

"And she can't spell worth beans," I added.

"Shut up, you!" Bridgett hissed, playfully slapping me.

"Well, Bridgett, you're welcome to join Airi in her job as manager, or just watch," Kyoya said kindly.

So, Bridgett just helped me out. She led the girls to the tables, welcomed them, etcetera. The one thing Bridgett didn't have down was manners. Those of you who have been to America, California specifically, know that Ouran etiquette is completely different from how people treat each other there. So Bridgett was having a hard time adapting to not being loud and rambunctious.

"Bridgett, want to help me go around with second snacks?" I called to her.

Bridgett was flopped upside down on the couch, her legs dangling off of the top and her hair flowing underneath her in a mess of blond. "No," she grunted.

I crossed my arms. "If you're going to help me, then you're going to help."

"I only came here because my dad had a business trip! I don't have to do crap!" She rolled over onto her stomach. "I'd much rather play. Is there anyone gullible to play pranks on here?"

"Pretty much every naïve-looking girl you see," I said, rolling my eyes.

"Hunh, should've figured that one out," Bridgett jumped off of the sofa and stretched. "Does this place have a kitchen? I'm gonna make some salt-stuffed brownies for gullible people."

"That sounds fun; we're in," The Twins said with smirks plastered on their faces.

I pulled my friend back. **"****Hey, ****don****'****t ****damage ****our ****customer ****reviews, ****okay? ****We ****can****'****t ****go ****giving ****them ****salted ****brownies ****and ****expect ****them ****to ****come ****back.****"**

Bridgett shrugged. "Okay, what if we gave them to guys instead of girls?"

"That's even better!" the Twins shouted again.

That's when it hit me. Bridgett… was like the long-lost Hitachiin sister. She was noisy, rude, playful, liked to pull pranks, and yet never really got along with people outside of her particular circle of friends. She also couldn't possibly have the capacity in her brain to learn another language or do math… my god.

Of course, Hikaru and Kaoru were becoming kind of popular now, since they started striking up conversation a bit more. Bridgett was forever annoying.

"Oh my god there's three of them," I whispered.

"What was that, Murasaki-chan?" the Twins asked teasingly.

Bridgett furrowed her eyebrows. "Murasaki? That's unoriginal. I call her Biffle-chan!"

"That's not original either, Bridgett."

"It's better than Purple! I'll just call you **Purple** from now on! How would you like that?"

"To be quite frank, I don't like being called Murasaki OR Biffle."

I managed to convince Bridgett to actually chip in some work (although the majority of it was getting extra dishes from the supply closet and refraining from eating too many cakes). On the way home, we had a chat.

"You like those redhead twins, don't you?"

My head snapped up from the ground, and I gave Bridgett a horrified face.

"Airi, you look really ugly when you make that face," she supplied.

"I-I don't like them," I laughed nervously. "Um…yeah, I just, just don't…"

"Airi, you may be a good liar, better than me, but when it comes to something that actually matters, you can't lie worth beans," Bridgett said, smiling. "We don't need to talk about it here. How about we go to your place, make some hot chocolate, and talk in your room under our capes we made from my curtains?"

"Bridgett, it's summer."

"Then we'll turn the AC on! Rich people ought to have some decent air conditioning, right?" she screamed.

We actually did end up doing just that. Turning the AC on, making hot cocoa, and putting on our curtain-capes in my room. Bridgett closed the door behind us so Hisako wouldn't come in, and sat down on my beanbag. "Sew, wassupwityou?"

"Okay, um, well," I started, not sure how to say what I wanted to. "I kind of liked the Twins…"

"Knew it!"

"…Last year. And then I basically discovered that I liked them because they were cute and that I was just as shallow as every other fan girl out there."

Bridgett gave me a sad smile. "Oh, Biffle-chan! You're not THAT shallow!"

"See, this is why I didn't want to tell you! You're not exactly the ultimate self-esteem boost!" I yelled and pointed.

Bridgett giggled and pushed a strand of blond hair out of her face. "You're not shallow, Airi. And you're not conceited. You're unique. But what's interesting is that I haven't really seen that side of you since I got to Japan."

"Derp?" I asked.

Bridgett laughed louder. "Okay, besides your weird internet-reference sounds. I mean, you're a lot like you were before you transferred from Ouran Elementary to Summit. You're not as lively, you're not cracking as many jokes, and I haven't seen you spaz or roll around on the floor at all. Come on, do America and I need to ruin you again!"

"You and America did enough damage to my belief structure, thank you."

"But seriously," Bridgett argued, "You're different! Are you sure you're over… over the… that's… that's it, isn't it? You're still moping about being a shallow rich person. Well, you know what? You ARE a shallow rich person. You need to stop brooding, get your purple ass up and start being weird again!"

"If I did that, there would be one less mature person in the Host Club."

"You're not mature," Bridgett shook her head. "You're the girl who fell flat on her face when she accidentally looped her foot through a backpack. You're the girl who decided to keep her hair purple when the hairdresser misunderstood the word 'highlights'! Stop moping, or I swear to the Flying Spaghetti Monster I will kick your little Asian Purple ass from now to back when we were thirteen and had freaking FUN. And remember, there's no point in having fun if you don't look stupid doing it."

I smiled. Bridgett wouldn't deal with a sad person for more than half a minute before blowing up at them. "Fine, then. Let's watch Mulan."

"Mulan? No, let's watch something GOOD like Pirates of The Carribean or Ocean's Eleven."

"But Mulan's a classic! Beauty and the Beast, then? We can ridicule it!"

"If we're going to ridicule a movie, let's watch High School Musical 2."

So we did. I felt better. It was nice to watch a really cheesy movie. We sung horribly along with it (especially since we didn't know the lyrics) and then proceeded to watch a couple of the kiddie shows on Disney.

"So, you up for acting like a real American tomorrow?" Bridgett asked with a mouthful of popcorn. "I'm only here for a few days, so I need to see this play out."

I shook my head, "I'll stop moping, but I'm not going to go crazy-ass on everyone. I'm the manager, and the entire third-year class knows me as a really studious person. If I go to school as an extrovert, everyone'll think I've gone bad-crap insane."

"But…actually, you're right this time," Bridgett admitted, standing up to get more popcorn. "Just…try to have a little more fun, okay? I don't like seeing you in denial. Then again…" she thought, tapping her chin. "It was those twins who made you suffer, right? I'll piss them off if you want me to. I'm good at pissing people off."

"I know that much," I say sarcastically, "And no, thanks. Hey…" Bridgett turned from the microwave to look at me. "Who's giving you a ride back to the hotel?"

Bridgett smiled sheepishly. "I told my dad I was staying here tonight."

"…Fair enough, let's go blow up a mattress."

"Don't you have a fancy rich person guest room?"

"Yes, but it's on the other side of the mansion; you'd get lost in a heartbeat."

"Well, blow-up mattress it is then!"

Now, we shall skip to the next day~

"…And that's why I think Kyoya is the hottest dude in Host Club," Bridgett finished proudly. I laughed. This girl had been my entertainment for the entirety of French class.

Hikaru and Kaoru argued, "But what about the twincest the two of us have? That's a good selling point."

Bridgett held up a finger. "Ah-bup-bup! I never said who has the best selling point, I said who was the _hottest_. And Kyoya is freaking _hot_. You guys are… like elf-cute, I guess."

"I know, right!" I said, "The only bad point, I think, to Kyoya-senpai is that he's like the most sadistic person you'll ever meet once you get to know him. Well, not sadistic… just kind of self-calculating and willing to be sadistic to gain some sort of profit. And yeah, you guys would be elf-cute."

They scrunched up their noses, "Elf?" they echoed.

"Like, you're cute, and hot, and all that stuff, but Kyoya is just Hott with a capital 'h' and two 't's," Bridgett said again. "I'm surprised he doesn't have that many people request him."

"Maybe American tastes are different than Japanese ones?" the Twins offered.

Bridgett and I looked at each other. "Probably," we said in unison, surprising both of us and provoking a hug and many giggles.

When we were released from class, Bridgett and I left as slowly as possible. On the way, I told her about the "Which One is Hikaru Game!".

"Basically, they both put on (ugly) green hats to cover up their part and ask you to guess which is which."

"Must've sucked when they made you play it, huh?"

"I managed to get out of it. Even though there's a fifty-fifty chance, nobody seems to get it right. Sometimes I think it's just because the girls can't prove their point once they guess."

"I think I may be able to tell them apart," Bridgett smiled (evilly).

"Well, good luck," I said, pushing open the door. "False alarm," I called out flatly, knowing that the line was coming.

"Aw, let them do their bishounen greeting!" Bridgett pouted. She turned to the boys. "I think I'll designate someone today," she spoke boldly.

Tamaki, Honey and the Twins immediately got excited.

"I've decided to choose the Twins… IF," she added, seeing their faces, "Airi can join me."

"What? No! What?" I yelled. "Bridgett, I have to—"

"I'm fine with it," Kyoya informed us.

I shrugged, "Okay then." I dragged my friend over to a corner and pulled her closer. "But you know how uncomfortable this is going to make me, right?" I whispered harshly.

Bridgett smirked. I gulped.

She was nice enough, however, to try and keep the flirting to a minimum. She would get hooked on the twincest, but as soon as one of them looked at her or me, she would spill more hot stuff on Kaoru to get the twincest show up and running again.

"How about we play the 'Which One is Hikaru Game!'" they both sang.

Bridgett smirked and cracked her neck. "I'm game."

The Twins put on their hats and switched around. After they were finished, Bridgett put a thoughtful hand to her chin. She slammed her fist on the table, grinning with confidence.

"Hikaru's the gay-looking one!"

"I'm not—!"

"—That one's Hikaru," Bridgett said proudly.

I laughed my butt off right there.

* * *

><p><strong>Bridgett McElligott is indeed inspired by my friend Bridget. Different last name, though, so don't go stalking her or anything. Her fanfiction is little miss mysterious OR 4evadarkrose or something like that. Please read her fanfiction! (Hawaii Five-0, X-Men Evolution, Young Justice, Outsiders, Glee…)<strong>

**I love ya lots, Bwidget! You're mah biffle!**

**What do you guys think of me making a work of satire? Basically, everything I hate about this fandom compiled into one disgusting one-shot disguised as a real story. I say it'll be fun!**

**Review, cake, or death. We're all out of cake.**

**ll**

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**V**


	5. Fluff and Bombs

**Hi hi~**

**Sorry for the delay… I thought winter break would mean more time for FF, but it translated to not doing any FF. Hee.**

**DISCLAIMER: No children were (severely) harmed in the making of this chapter.**

* * *

><p>"I think we should have themes for the Host Club!"<p>

I blinked and scrunched up my nose. Themes? For hosting? "Tamaki-senpai," I sighed, "I don't think that's the best idea—" I stopped to sneeze.

"That sounds like fun!" Honey interjected, "Can Usa-chan have a costume, too?"

"It'll definitely be entertaining," the Twins agreed.

"For you all, maybe, but what about the guests?" I sighed, "You guys, as fun as that may be, we don't—"

"Oh, we definitely have the money," Kyoya interrupted. "I've started putting up items for auction. Additionally having themes for hosting would keep customers coming back and attract more girls to walk in."

"I…" I started, and then stopped. I whipped my head around at Kyoya. "You've been putting items up for auction?"

"Yes," Kyoya answered, opening up his laptop. I walked over to get a peek. "See, here we have the handkerchief that Honey-senpai used the other day, and someone just bought Hikaru's eraser for 75,000 Yen."

"Seventy-five THOUSAND Yen?" I echoed, reaching for a tissue to stop my runny nose. "And Honey-senpai's handkerchief? That's just gross."

"But the ladies will buy it."

"So, what theme should we start out with?" the Twins asked, changing the subject again.

"Well, since it's June, summer, why don't we coordinate with the weather and have a Hawaiian theme next week?" Tamaki suggested, beaming with every word.

I scrunched up my nose again but knew that I didn't really have a say in the matter. I blew into the tissue. "If we're able to, why not. But I refuse to dress up."

"Alright then," Kyoya said, clicking his pen back in as he finished his notes on the clipboard. "Oh, I should also let you know that I booked the main hall for us to have a Summer Ball, right before Summer Break."

"What?" I yelled. "But that's two weeks from now! We can't get a so-called 'Summer Ball' ready in that amount of time!"

"That Saturday was the only one left on such short notice," Kyoya explained.

"Don't worry," one Twin said.

"Our expert manager Murasaki-chan can handle it!"

"Right~?" they chorused, pulling my cheeks.

I gave a weak sneeze in response.

"It sounds like it'll be fun to me! Right, Takashi?" Honey asked.

"Un," Mori grunted in confirmation.

"So I'm guessing we have all needed funds for _this_ as well, Kyoya-senpai?" I asked, hands on my hips.

"But of course." Kyoya looked at his watch. "Okay, I think we've had a very productive day. I will see you all here again tomorrow for the morning session. Meeting adjourned."

I sighed in relief.

"Airi," Kyoya called, "I have your pay for June right here."

"Oh, thanks…" I said, opening the envelope. My eyes bugged out of my head. "_This_ is ten percent of this month's profits? Maybe we do have enough money for themes and events…"

I said my goodbyes to everyone for the day, and set off towards the Nakajima estate. Man, I was tired. And dizzy. I felt like I was being watched.

And if I was being watched, I knew who was watching.

"Hikaru, Kaoru, what do you want?" I yelled without turning around.

"We wanna see what your house looks like, Murasaki-chan!"

I swiveled to face them. "So, you cancelled out on your limo? The Hitachiin mansion is way too far to walk from here!"

"That's why we were planning on going to your house," they said in a tone I didn't like.

"Not unannounced, you're not. Do you need a cell to call for your car? I have mine right here."

They both pouted, "But we wanna see your house, Murasaki-chan!"

"If you call me Murasaki you're never going to see my house!" I burst. "Just leave me alone and let me go about my business!" Without waiting for an answer, I turned and walked away briskly. I regretted doing so almost immediately after.

Oh god, that was not cool, I thought. What if they hated me now? What, no, that would be stupid. Why would they hate me? Gosh, Airi. But that was kind of uncalled for. I should have apologized. But they couldn't come to my house. My father and Yue-san didn't think I had any friends besides Momoka, let alone guy friends. Ugh, now I had a headache. And I was grumpy. And I had been sneezing all day, too… I'd take some advil or something when I got home. Didn't want to miss any school days because I didn't take care of my self when I had a possible cold.

"Welcome home, Ai—"

"Not in the mood, Ellie," I interrupted her. She nodded understandingly and ran off to put my bag in the family room. "I'm going to take some painkillers and have a very, very long nap."

Another servant approached me with the medicine and objected, "But Ojou-sama, you have your homework, don't you?"

I glared at him. "If I don't get my nap some unlucky soul on the staff gets it."

"Now, now, Kiriaki-san," Ellie soothed the butler, "If the Young Miss wants to relax, we'll let her relax. Remember, Itsuki-sama and Yue-sama won't be back from England until Sunday! Why don't you get one of the maids to prepare a quick meal, since Airi-sama isn't feeling well."

Kiriaki scowled, but scurried off. I sighed and smiled at Ellie.

Ellie smirked. "You so owe me."

"I do not! You're my maid!" I shot back, annoyed.

"So we're even then," Ellie said.

"What?"

"Go on up to your room, I'll send Hisako-san up there with some orange juice for you in a minute."

I walked up the stairs whining, "But I don't like orange juuuuuuice~ It's too sour~"

"Then go ahead, shrivel and die for all I care."

"…I'll drink the orange juice."

I never actually got my ugly orange juice because I pretty much passed out on my bed as soon as I reached my room, in my short brown skirt and sailor uniform.

* * *

><p>I woke up the next morning feeling even more horrible than the day before. I was too hot in my bed, I couldn't breath through my nose, and I was dizzy and disoriented. I tried to stand up and almost fell over. Noticing I was already in my uniform, I teetered to my bathroom to find a thermometer. Thirty-eight point three degrees Celsius.<p>

"Ellie, I think I'm staying home from school today~" I called, my voice raspy from not talking yet in the day.

"Oh?" I heard her yell back. "Why? Are you sick?"

"Fever of 101º Fahrenheit," I shouted. "Can you call the school for me? Have Keiichi or Hisako call the Host Club if they can."

"Actually," I could hear Ellie smirk through the door, "School started hours ago. Hisako couldn't wake you up, so we assumed you were sick. A 'Suoh-senpai' called about half-an-hour ago saying that the Host Club would come and visit you. Isn't that sweet?"

I opened the door and glared at Ellie. "Cancel. Now."

"Aw, I think the kids would love to meet them!"

"I would prefer to keep my two worlds separate from each other," I argued.

"You're putting up too much of a fight; you can't be _that_ sick!" Ellie yelled exasperatedly.

"I…I just…" I stuttered, "I don't want them to… I don't know." I sighed and put a hand to my forehead. "I really don't know. I'm just not feeling comfortable with a bunch of crazy people I know coming to my house; especially while Dad and Yue-san are out."

"Ellie-san?" a servant called. "There are guests at the gate who say they are in the Ojou-sama's club…"

"Make them leave, please," I groaned, not having enough willpower to bark an order.

The maid shot a nervous "I don't know what to do" glance at Ellie, who shook her head and mouthed what looked like "Let them in".

"Now, Airi-san, why don't you go into the family room and lie down on the couch," she cooed.

"What? No! I'm not going to just—"

"I'll make banana-chocolate-chip muffins!" she pleaded.

"That sounds really yummy!" a high-pitched voice squealed. I could hear the pink flowers laced into the words.

"So this is where you live, Murasaki-chan?" one Twin asked.

"It's much nicer than you led us on to believe."

"Oh, poor Airi is sick!" Tamaki yelled dramatically. "Come," he ordered the others, "We must put her to bed and get her medicine!"

"I don't need medicine!" I protested.

"Really? Because you look horrible," the Twins snickered.

"Airi, show them to the family room and have them watch TV or something. I'll make… uh…" Ellie stammered.

I held up a hand, "Ellie, besides muffins, you can't cook to save your life. Have Ami-san cook something; she's capable."

Seeing the looks of confusion on the boys' faces, I explained, "We have no real kitchen staff."

"Why?"

"…" I hesitated.

"Airi does the cooking most of the time," Kyoya answered for me. "After high school she plans on moving back to America to go to college, majoring in culinary arts (following in her family's footsteps) and possibly going after performing arts as well, on account of her theatrical background from middle school."

I shot a glare at Kyoya. He was just the community stalker, now wasn't he? "What happened to school, you guys?"

"It ended," Mori answered.

My mouth dropped open and I groaned, "I slept for that long?" I looked at my visitors and sighed, "Come on, the family room is this way…"

We walked through the hall and into the family room, complete with five couches, various chairs, a super-large plasma television, and pretty much every video game platform available in Japan.

"Wow, this is super humongous!" Honey yelled. "You have a big family, right, Mura-chan?"

I sat on the short couch and pulled the fuzzy blanket over me. "Yeah, there's nine of us kids, and we spend most of our time in here; homework, downtime, tutoring sessions, etcetera." I sneezed.

"And do you happen to be a closet otaku, Murasaki-chan?" I heard the twins ask, browsing through my videogames. "Ukidoki Memorial, really?"

I scowled; ready to stand up if I needed to. It's true, I was a little bit of an otaku, but this game didn't prove it. "The videogames are mostly my brothers. And so is Ukidoki Memorial."

"Um," Tamaki said, raising a hand, "What's Ukidoki…"

"It's a dating simulation game for girls," Kyoya answered.

"Are your brothers gay?" Honey asked innocently.

I shook my head, "Not that I'm aware of, but you have no idea how fun this game can be when you don't take it seriously. I get a lot of inspiration for the Host Club from this game, actually."

"We're home!" some voices chorused. Ugh. My family.

"Nee-chan~!" Kayla yelled, running up to hug me. "Do you want a popsicle to make you feel better?"

I smiled down at her, "No, Sweetie, a popsicle won't make Nee-chan feel the best right now. How was preschool today?"

"It was good! But Kyoko kept on messing up when we were playing Sailor Moon. I was Sailor Pluto because she's my favorite! And she looks like me!" Kayla beamed.

"Airi," Hisako called, "I know you're sick, but can you help me with math again?"

"It's always math!"

"I know, I just—"

"Hey, Nee-chan, do you have some time to help me-"

"Airi-nee, what's for dinner tonight?"

"Everybody, in the family room, now!" I yelled. My siblings slowed to a halt and gathered on the sofas. I sighed. "Family, this is the Host Club. You helped me make cupcakes for them a couple months ago. Host Club, this is…

"Keiichi, Hisako, Sora, Isuzu, Kusame, Rina, Seiya, and Kayla. I shall list them in chronological order from oldest to youngest."

I saw the Host Club with wide eyes. I walked over and placed my hand on the head of the respective person I introduced. "This is Keiichi; you guys probably know of him. He's really mopey, pessimistic, and negative. This is Hisako; she gave Bridgett Kyoya-senpai's cell number. She was adopted most recently. Sora is kind of the honorary baby of the household, and Isuzu is an emotionless anomaton who is addicted to her hobby; stalking. Anyway, Kusame's the trouble-maker, Rina and Seiya are blood-related, and Kayla is the youngest, adopted from an American family who couldn't take care of her."

"And Itsuki-san and Yue-san would be on their business trip in Europe right now, I presume?" Kyoya asked.

"Whoa, Glasses-Dude reminds me of Isuzu," Kusame said, surprised. Isuzu sat there, remaining unfazed. She pulled out her laptop and started taking notes.

"Don't… okay, maybe a little," I let Kusame slip by. "Seiya, Kusame, you wanna show the Host Club Ukidoki Memorial?"

"Not really," Seiya answered. "My character got bombed by Itari."

"What does that mean?" The Twins asked.

"It means that I didn't pay enough attention to him so he got all bitchy and decided to go out with that slut Hiyomi."

"Seiya!" I yelled, shocked at his swearing.

"Keiichi taught it to me!" Seiya yelled.

"You little bastard!" the accused exclaimed.

"Case closed," Rina said with a giggle. She turned to her brother, "But, Sei-chan, don't say those things! Only big kids like me can say bad words!"

"You're six, I'm five, what's the difference!"

"No, Rina, only big kids like me can say those words," I corrected sternly. "And I shouldn't even be saying them. Now, the looming threat of the swear jar has dropped on your heads. Whoever says a bad word will pay me ¥500." I sneezed.

"What if _you_ swear?" Sora asked.

"Then I pay myself ¥500. Now, go and eat or something. I'm sick, ya know."

"Airi, can I get you some ibuprofen?" Hisako asked as she walked out the door.

"Thank you, Hisa," I said in a pathetic tone.

"You're mostly in charge of them, huh, Mura-chan?" Honey asked when the room had cleared.

"When Father and Yue-san aren't around, yes."

"Well, that explains how you adapted so quickly to the Host Club," the Twins murmured.

"Maybe," I contemplated. "You guys do kind of resemble each other in some ways. Though I can't think of a match for you, Tamaki-senpai. You're one of a kind, I guess."

"Thank you!"

"Honey-chan!" Kayla ran back into the room holding her stuffed cat, who she unoriginally named Neko-chan. "Do you and your Usa-chan wanna play with me and Neko-chan?"

Honey stood up, beaming. "Yay! That sounds like fun!"

Kayla grinned and pulled him along. "Rina-chan! Hisa-nee! Honey-chan and Usa-chan are going to play with us!"

"Awesome!" Rina squealed. Hisako smiled, she normally wasn't into this stuff, but would do it for her sisters. "Just let me give the medicine to Nee-chan, kay, gals?" she said, pointing to the bottle. She set it on the table and waved goodbye to the rest of the Host Club and me.

"Excuse me," my sister Isuzu said monotonously to Kyoya, pushing up her glasses and flipping her brown bangs, "It would seem that you have a lot of information to share. Would you… care to show me your methods?"

I smiled. As creepy as she was for a nine-year-old girl, she was so cute when she was shy.

Kyoya looked hesitant, but Isuzu had shown a rare glimpse of (fake) emotion and got watery-puppy-eyed at him. He sighed and stood up. Isuzu smirked and walked out to the kitchen with him.

"Hey, who are these pictures of?" one of The Twins asked, gesturing around the room.

"Oh," I sniffled, "They're the kids' real families. Some of them had relatives who died or couldn't take care of them, so we put up pictures to remind them of their past lives."

"Is this one yours?" Tamaki pointed to the one on the end. It was a photograph of my father and mother. My mom had brown eyes, light brown, curly hair, and her stomach was bulging out slightly. I nodded. Tamaki smiled, "You look a lot like your mom."

"I hope that's a compliment, Tono," I teased.

And then, he blew up into Host Mode. "Why, of course it was a compliment! A lovely maiden such as yourself—"

"Tono, we're not on business right now," The Twins scolded.

I laughed a bit. Then I remembered something. "Hikaru, Kaoru, did you guys—"

"Pick up your make-up work? Yes," they chorused, "And here's the results on your math and Japanese exams from last week."

After taking the papers, the Host Club stayed for another couple of hours. I learned several valuable lessons during that period;

1. Twins + Kusame = Oh Dear God

2. Tamaki-senpai was good with little kids.

3. I needed to watch out for Isuzu's new stalking techniques.

After a while, I kinda went into overdrive.

"What are you people still doing in my house?" I yelled suddenly, standing up "Is there any reason for you to be here? All of you?"

"We wanted to see if you were alright, Airi," Tamaki said with a smile. "Because we care about you."

I gaped at him a bit; I had no idea what to say to a sincere statement like that. I wondered where the idiot Tamaki had run off. "U-Um, thanks, b-but that's really not necessary," I stuttered nervously. Crap, I could feel myself blush. "Can you guys just leave now, please? I…I just need to rest up. I promise I'll be back at school tomorrow."

"Actually, that's highly unlikely, considering the state you're in now," Kyoya told me. "And I'm sorry to say that while you're not active in the club, you won't earn any money."

I sighed. Kaoru walked over and slapped a friendly arm over my shoulder, causing me to wince. "Don't worry, Murasaki-chan! Hikaru and I will come back over tomorrow and bring you that day's work!"

I removed his arm from my shoulder and smiled weakly, "Thanks, Kaoru."

After everyone had left, the boys immediately started up Ukidoki Memorial, and forced me to make a profile, and since I didn't want to use my real name, I decided on Sparklepuff, which apparently is hard for a computer to pronounce.

Kayla jumped onto the couch and pulled on my uniform. "I like the Host Club, Nee-chan." I smiled and ruffled her hair.

"I like them too, Kayla."

* * *

><p><strong>AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH. IT'S DONE. BLARGH. Tell me if Airi was too Sue-ish.<strong>

**So, input. I want to include the Summer Ball, and possibly meeting Chika and Satoshi, but I want to introduce Haruhi soon as well. Also, I have no current plot for the Ball. HELP ME PLLLLLLLZ.**

**Thank you, if you read this ^.^**

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><p><strong>QotC: Did you read the lower AN? If not, read it and REVIEW.**


	6. Dances and Tanukis

**Hi hi~**

**Nothing really for me to say… In my ballet recital, I got the part of Mary Had a Little Lamb! One of my girls in my class as a part-time demonstrator is mah lamb, and she's adorable!**

**The first time I was in this particular dance show, I was one of Little Bo Peep's bitchy sheep. Then I was Mary's Lamb. Now I'm Mary.**

**Go figure Pudding.**

**DISCLAIMER: WHAT IS WRONG WITH THIS CHAPTER?**

* * *

><p>It was a Tuesday. The Summer Ball we were planning would be that Saturday. And everything wasn't quite as chaotic as I thought it would be.<p>

It was still pretty chaotic, though.

"Mura-chan, Mura-chan!" Honey called. "Can we have these cakes at the Ball on Saturday~?" he held up pictures of expensive cakes.

I sighed and picked up the photos. "Sorry, Honey-senpai, I don't know if these will be within our budget." Honey gave me watery eyes. I smiled, "Ah, don't worry, we already have plenty of cakes specially ordered already."

"Which ones?" Honey demanded seriously. "Usa-chan and I need to give them our seal of approval!"

Geez, this kid didn't screw around when it came to cake.

"Kyoya-senpai should have the menu. You can talk to him, I guess."

"You called?" Kyoya approached. "Honey-senpai, here's the food list. Look it over with the rest of the Club."

"Okay, Kyo-chan!" Honey ran off to sit with everyone else.

I raised a brow at the director. "You sure they won't completely rearrange everything? The event is right around the corner."

"I trust their judgment enough," Kyoya shrugged. "You should, too."

I sighed and lowered his arm to get a peek at his clipboard. I flipped through the pages until I saw the files on the Ball. I knew better than to look at anything else. "So, we've got food, decorations, music, the best location, anything we're missing?"

"I believe we are as prepared as we can be at this point," Kyoya answered, closing his notebook. "Airi, you can bring a date if you so wish."

"A what?"

"I'm assuming you will be attending."

"Is it required?"

"Yes."

"Do I really have to?" I asked. "I'm not a host, I'm not even a guy! You know, if I'm seen around you guys too much, your fan girls will get mad."

"That's why you bring a date."

"Well…What if I don't have a date?" I asked nervously.

"You'll come anyway. I won't be available to supervise the entire night, since the whole Host Club will be needed to entertain the guests."

"Fine," I mumbled.

That thought troubled me most of the day.

* * *

><p>During lunch, I went into the dining hall and decided to sit next to Momoka. For once. She smiled at me, as if she didn't notice I'd been ignoring her for two or so months.<p>

"Haven't talked to you in a while." Oh, she had noticed.

"Yeah," I sighed. "Host Club, you know?"

Momoka nodded. "Oh, I know, Airi-chan. It must be sooooooo tough on you."

I scowled. "Cut the sarcasm! They're a tough bunch to deal with."

My friend giggled. "I know I wouldn't complain. Are you coming to the Summer Ball that the club's hosting?"

"Unfortunately, yes."

"Um, 'unfortunately'? It's going to be great!" she squealed.

"I just don't think I'll enjoy myself that much," I sighed, "You and the other guests will get to flirt and dance with the Host Club members, and I'll just be kind of standing there awkwardly. Maybe Kyoya-senpai and some guests will come to me with complaints that I have to fix. With more luck, I'll dress completely inappropriately for the event."

Momoka tapped her chin. "Well, we can fix that last problem. It's a formal event. Do you have any evening gowns?"

I shook my head no. "When my dad takes me to promotional events, I use my sister, Hisako's dresses."

"Can't you use another one for this event?"

"She'll only do it if Dad bribes her, and I don't think he'll be willing for something this small."

"Do you have _any _formal dress of _any _sort?"

I thought. "I have my eighth grade graduation dance dress from Summit. It would be a year since I'd worn it, though…"

"Don't worry, you haven't grown a bit," Momoka joked. "What's it look like?"

"It's white, goes a little past my knee, has black and yellow polka-dots floating around, and a black sash."

"Strapless?"

"Good god no."

"Padded?"

"Ew!"

Momoka smiled. "I think you have your dress."

I pouted. "What about all the other stuff I was griping about?"

"_Is_ there a way to fix the stuff you were griping about?"

"If I find a date—"

"Oh, right, a date…yeah, sorry. I can't think of anyone outside of the Host Club who I'd want to date."

I raised an eyebrow. "What about Iincho? He seems to be pretty interested in you."

"You mean Soga-chan?" Momoka asked with a smile. "We're just childhood friends."

I rolled my eyes. "Soga-chan" sure didn't think so.

"And this isn't about who I want to date, it's about who you want to date!"

"Well, I don't want to date anyone."

"Then you'll just have to go alone," Momoka shrugged.

"Why?"

"Because your two options at any dance are 'date' or 'alone'."

I sighed again, "Will you keep me company?"

Momoka smiled and hugged me. "As long as I can, okay?"

"Yay!"

* * *

><p>The preparations for the Ball went well the rest of the week. It was a free event, Tamaki had insisted it be so, therefore there were no ticket sales. (As a consequence, Kyoya made the Twins and me pick up some Host memorabilia for the site auctions.) The whole thing cost a lot of money, but the Shadow King had insisted that it would benefit business in the end.<p>

What? Oh, right, the whole 'Shadow King' deal. You've heard it, I'm sure. The Twins had come up with it a while back, and everyone thought it suited him.

Even after all this time, I personally hold 'Tax Collector From Hell' close to my heart.

I spent the entirety of Saturday at school; I had brought in my dress beforehand to change. Thankfully, the after-school Host Club session had been cancelled, so all I had to do was get to the Grande Hall, find the changing room, change, and start helping out! It was going to go perfectly amazingly smoothly, and I wouldn't have anything to worry about.

I know, "famous last words."

What ended up happening was that I _couldn't_ find the changing room, wandered around for about half an hour because I was too stubborn to ask for help, changed into my dress and struggled with the zipper, walked out and asked some random guy to tie the ribbon in the back for me, yelled at a few people for getting things wrong, and yelled at more people for getting other things wrong.

I can be a real perfectionist.

While supervising the set-up, I was secretly wishing the crew would leave so I could do it myself. Something caught my eye to the far right. I turned, enraged.

"You idiots! The dessert table can't go to the _left_ of the snack table! Put it on the other side; people should have dessert last! Do it again, and do it right!"

"Well, you're into this," the Twins commented at the door. I turned and blushed; the rest of the gang was with them too. And they'd all seen me flip out because of dessert placement.

I struggled to think of a comeback, "I-I feel like it's important…" I grumbled. "I've been trusted with a responsibility, and I'm not going to let anyone down."

"It looks beautiful, Airi," Tamaki smiled.

I sighed in relief at his approval, "Thanks, Senpai. What time will the guests be arriving, Kyoya-senpai?"

"About fifteen minutes from now," Kyoya answered, scribbling on his clipboard as usual.

The next fifteen minutes were pretty uneventful. I had a spot reserved for me on the giant staircase the Host Club would be glorifying themselves. When the guests started arriving, I perked up. I searched around for anyone I knew, namely Momoka. I spotted her and waved. She didn't notice me, but I would hate to make a fool of myself by screaming out her name. The longer I looked around, the more I realized that there were absolutely no boys attending this dance.

It shouldn't have been a surprise, really. I mean, every girl had come for the Host Club. But it was still disappointing.

All of the school dances and events I had been to were with…well, you know, classmates. Crazy, American classmates who, like me, didn't have boyfriends. During the slow dances we would work in some crazy spaz routine that made no sense. It was obvious I couldn't do that here.

I sat near the railing of the staircase, rolling around a marble I had found. Every now and then a girl would come up and ask me where the bathroom was. Momoka came up to make idle chat with me once or twice. Otherwise, I was bored out of my mind.

I made another dramatic sigh as someone tapped me on the shoulder. "What?" I asked rudely, turning around. I was surprised to see Kaoru standing there. "Oh, you're…"

"You looked bored up here; I thought I'd check up on you," he said with a smile.

"Really? Kyoya-senpai didn't send you?" I asked skeptically.

"He did," he admitted, "But that doesn't mean I didn't want to."

I smiled and blushed a bit. "Oh, where's Hikaru?" I asked suddenly.

Kaoru paused for a minute. Then a gargantuan grin stretched across his face, "You knew I was Kaoru?"

"Huh?"

"You knew it was me and not Hikaru. That takes some skill, Murasaki-chan," Kaoru smirked.

"I…" I trailed off. I did! I had subconsciously told them apart. Wow. Go me.

"You wanna dance?" Kaoru interrupted my serious contemplation, causing my brain to short circuit and nonsense words to float about.

"Do I… what? I…" I stammered.

Kaoru cackled loudly. "You're a hoot. C'mon, Airi, even a stick-in-the-mud like you deserves to have a _little_ bit of fun at an event you yelled at so many poor souls for."

I cringed, but took his hand, pouting. "That was harsh."

"But it's true."

"Touché."

The dance with Kaoru was nice. We talked a bit and Kaoru passed me on to Honey. Honey and Usa-chan and I danced for a bit longer before I found myself being passed around the whole Host Club. Just for fun, it seemed that Hikaru and Kaoru were dancing with each other jokingly, and Tamaki was trying to convince Kyoya to dance with him.

* * *

><p>The night ended on a great note for me.<p>

Now, don't start thinking Kaoru and I dated or anything. It wasn't that easy. It's never that easy.

And I know I'm rushing this, I just wanna get to the juicy part. Plot is everything, guys!

Over the course of the fall and winter term, I met Honey's younger brother "Chika", the Twins had finally stopped calling me Murasaki-chan, and I found out that Hisako had a crush on Mori's younger brother Satoshi. Sure, he was a year older, but what the hell?

I passed my final exam with flying colors, first in the class (with the Twins being second and third), and enjoyed my break before I had to step into that horrible yellow cupcake dress.

Tenth grade.

The first day was a tearful reunion on Tamaki's part with the three freshmen. He started spouting words about how proud he was of us; and now we were part of the high school family, blabbity blah.

The second day brought in a girl dressed as a boy.

Her name was Fujioka Haruhi.

* * *

><p><strong>Dun dun dun. :3<strong>


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